Okay, so recently, peanut butter has started murdering people… again. Why you ask? Well you didn’t ask, but really, I’m sure you’re reading this wondering why peanut butter is such a psycho bitch. Well I would imagine its filled with delicouscy salmonella goodness. Not all peanut butter of course, just jars of rich and nutritious King Nut peanut butter.
I live in a town with a JIF factory, and thus, its comes cheap and plentiful. I’ve eaten more JIF peanut butter than a man can honestly say doesn’t make him gay for JIF… but I’m not. That got weird. However! After learning all of this about the delicous tragedy I tried to track down a picture of a jar of King Nut peanuty goodness. I had never seen one.
You know what?
I STILL HAVEN’T SEEN ONE.
I tried a patented Google image search for King Nut peanut butter. Hoping that trawling through the many images might yield a glimpse of that most regal of butters. It would appear the king doesn’t like to be photographed. Much like the Liechtenstein royal family
Not Peanut Butter
However, it doesn’t seem to come in jars. It comes in tubs, which may have alerted other more fortunate people not to buy it. I just like to hearken back to a day when nothing gave you salmonella but chicken. Now we must fear our produce, our monarchies?!
The recall was voluntary, so kudos to them, I respect any company willing to take a hit on public relations for a good move toward policy. It’s an awful tragedy for a few people out there, but the recall will save lives. I’ll put out an A.P.B. for all the peanute butter that may or may not look like this:
Man, its just terrible. Really, I looked to find A SINGLE picture of a package of any sort, all I found out is that the parent company also sells airline supplies, and bizzare assortment snacks. How am I supposed to watch out for something I can’t identify?! Package, jar, bag, bottle, or pippette?
I’m not gay for JIF!