Things I’m going to be when I grow up…

I’m 22. That’s not nearly grown up enough to decide. Thus I thought maybe I would construct a list and instead of being just one of them, I’ll be all of them, or a combination of them… Who knows? Only the man at the helm of my fate can decide. I’m reasonably sure that its me.

1. Astronaut. I am going into space, and I’m going to scratch and claw my way to get there. I’m a smart man, motivated in a manner of speaking. As such I can honestly say none of you will ever stop me from getting there. I can do anything, my elementary teachers taught me. Well, I guess they didn’t tell me they were kidding. I take the notion very seriously. I practice operating electronics in gloves, doing complex algebra on the fly, studying aeronautics, and one day I’ll make my fortune, and you’ll be reading the blog of Payload Specialist Carl. Space Tourism is for chumps.

Why would I want to be a space tourist? I want to explore. Space will be my business and my pleasure. I will be a true product of the information age. Besides, we’re reaching technological benchmarks where the ptolemetery needed to pilot a craft about the space of our Solar System could fit inside a small phone. really. The computing power of the Apollo lander was less than a Gameboy:


Fly me to the moon…

2. Folklorist

I have a singular love of storytelling. I hope to save the oral tradition from the degradation of modern science:


I didn’t think the irony would be lost on you.

3. Folk hero.

If I travel the world saving the oral tradition, as a modern day Indiana Jones, why can’t I have the whole of that experience? I mean, really its not that hard to make the leap. Swinging from tree to tree like Shia… nevermind. Bringing it up is still far too painful. However. This could be my ticket into dorrs that remain closed to other narrators of indigenous lore. Only time will tell.

4. Olympic Athlete.

The United States doesn’t field a handball team, who’s with me?

Now you know, my whole ambition. If you aren’t with me, you’re against me. They say I’m insane! Mad! Well I say BAH! HUMBUG! If I over reach I’ll simply find the extent of my reach. Maybe if I didn’t have a total center brained personality I wouldn’t be driven mad chasing things in both directions. I just need to chase one thing til I circle the world in pursuit, then I’m sure to catch both.

Honorable Mention:

Jackie Chan- I mean, I always wanted to be him growing up and if my logic doesn’t fail, I can do anything



2 responses to “Things I’m going to be when I grow up…

  1. Lest we forget, you also want to get a rockin’ book written and published. With any luck the royalties will help finance your jaunt into space.

    As the pseudo-editor and index specialist of the aforementioned book, I feel compelled to tell you to run spell check on your posts.

  2. the irony of course, is that that’s not a NASA worker, but billy bob thornton in the movie armageddon

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