Happy Groundhogs Day! Hopefully I will only have to write this once, otherwise, I may go insane. Clever joke, you say? Why thank you! Who doesn’t reference Bill Murray on this, the most hallowed of rodent related holidays. For those of you at home thinking that perhaps rabbits and easter apply, they’re Lagomorpha! Which yields subtle un-noticable differences to those of us that might like a brace of conies:
This thing might actually crap Cadbury eggs, whole and undisturbed, which is ironically disturbing….
But we’re here to talk about Phil, Punxsutawney Phil. The rodent king! He can make or break crops with his wintery shadow. I just recently came up with a solution to manipulate this 11 pounds of wintery fury into a total scam. That’s right America! It’s time to pull one over on mother nature. I only need one picture to really show you the extent of my genius:
Only, you know, WE’LL be the smooth criminals
After realizing its impossible in nearly every capacity to see his shadow, he will surely give up this life of life or death meteorology and help make the world a better place. That aside it’s mostly February the 2nd, and not a thing this tiny little varmit (while cute in his hat) sees will change the way the earth afixes itself to an axis, and thus, live the past several thousand years winter will end at the same time… Oh man did I just jinx the hell out of us guys. Knock on wood.
That being said I hope everyone enjoys the day. It should be a nice mix of wintery and warm. Don’t slip on the ice going to and from whatever it is you all hither and thither about doing. I hope you know that currently, in Canada and the United States, we’re looking for weather advice from THIS guy:
wait… the groundhog DOESN’T wear a hat? Are you sure?
So, do you think he rents that hat, or do you think he has one for like, everyday wear?