Wow, so we need to worry about Soccer according to my brother Adam. How about I find a nice chart to explain how I feel on the subject of European football (fussball):
This is a chart of my interest… rates! CA-CHING!
Holy crap, someone has charted exactly how interested I was until I read about a sport invented by our mortal enemy. The Europeans. Well, even if they didn’t I don’t care. It’s a great sport, to think about academically. kicking and running, it’s practically an athletic bonanza. However I can’t help but notice whenever I watch it on television all the forwards and what-have-you’s look like their just aimlessly drifitng in and out of some athletic competition just by virtue of wearing some sort of kleats
You know what I love to watch? Football, Baseball, Basketball, and on ocassion the Lumberjack Games. None of that is a lie, but if you want to re-read it and not think I’m a little touched, stop at basketball and pick back up————-> HERE.
These are manly sports (except for the WNBA?) that require less waiting, less kicking, much less running (if you play baseball…) and the best part of all: No Eurotrash, hipsters pretending they like soccer, hooligans, brigands, drunks, or Canadians. Just playing Canada, you’re alright.
Maybe someday if my brother decides to become a patriot, and not think about the infant league of footballers, he can think about the long standing and wonderous traditions of Football, or even better, the AMERICAN PAST TIME: Baseball. It doesn’t matter that we seem to be the only country besides Japan (GO HANSHIN TIGERS!) with a huge hard-on for this game. Or that soccer is the number one sport in the world. Screw that. I’m going to go get a giagantic plastic cup of beer, sit in a tiny fold up chiar, and watch millionaires swing a bat like a real American!