I’m done with finals. So there’s that. Now I have nothing but time on my hands, unless you count all those obligations and work and things. But really, whats that schwarbage? I thought I’d just come back and say “Hello”. I recently Had a travel experience I wish to share with America, no the WORLD at large. West Virginia is the most beautiful place you never want to go, and Virginia is the Old South, which means that they USED to be nice to the RICH. Don’t expect southern hospitality if you go to the great… “Mother of Presidents”. Which they seem to share as a title. With whom? Why, the creepeist cartoon to feature children with handlebar mustaches of course:



I went for a wedding, me and my two gigantic roommates who look like they might murder people for the government anyhow. So when our whole traveling party steps out of a giant Yukon with sunglasses and cigars and things, we look kind of like we might deal drugs, or… oh yeah, murder people for the government.

The whole trip was great. The only problem (aside from the stinkeye I needed to shower to wash off) was the pollen. I’m not even allergic to pollen. You know why my eyes watered? Because the Pollen in VA. is so big its like whole pieces of tree flew into my eyeball. I swear it was like we were in the prettiest dust storm.



Also did you know the motto for Va.? Its the same thing John Wilkes Booth shouted as he assasinated out 16th president. Coincidence? I won’t say.



I’m happy to be back home. I no longer spend my days sleeping obscene amounts in cars, and alienating bridal families. Now I’m home, to alienate my friends. I think its going to be an alright summer…


2 responses to “Phew.

  1. trixie whistles

    Being from WV I can assure you, there are some beautiful places there. Hawk’s Nest is breathtakingly wonderful. You should do a whitewater rafting trip there sometime.

  2. I once got very good advice. “Never hitchhike in West Virginia.”

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